Your burning bridges baby

uh i feel a bit shit. Maybe its PMT or maybe its just me. I'm just sad :(
thought that writing it might help.
Where do I even start? I'm just feeling so many emotions all a once.
Went for my jessops induction today start my job next week, so excited about that! Then I'm going back to manc which I'm excited about but then its making me sad too coz i'm gonna miss my parents terribly. Then i miss my friends, and some of them just make me feel like i may as well be dead. then i feel totally happy because iain is so amazing to me and were just always so happy together.
Since ive been home for summer ive text my friend lauren who imi dont think will read this, and i keep inviting to hang out, and she makes all these excuses all the fucking time. Or just doesnt even bother to reply. The last thing she said to me before i left for uni was that we were best friends and now she cant even spare me an hour of her time. Ive not even done anything to upset her, its always me getting in touch with her. To be fair it seems quite one sided with a few of my friends. what makes me such a bad friend? all i want is to be in their lives and have fun and be there for them, why is it so difficult to feel the same towards me? i must be some sort of horrible shitty friend. I hope that when I get back to manc i can spend more time with penny, and with lu & melissa. they seem to be the only caring friends atm. Apart from Sophie, but she wont be there, which im also dreading. I fee like we've got kinda closer this summer. I love her to bits.
I know im just having a bad day but i just dont wanna feel this way. everytime i get upset i always think i have no friends. Do i? im sure i do, but why do i feel this way? im such an insecure mess.
I cant wait to get back to manc, minus the sadness of leaving home. I feel like i may feel more important when im there, more loved. I can only hope so.
The good points outweigh the bad in my life yet the bad ones control my emotions more. perhaps i just like to complain and be miserable..

I shall try to be happy, i think venting did help.
Tomorrow i'm going to visit the new house and the off to ikea to buy some stuff i may need. Then next week my wonderful job starts! then i move out! yay=]

Night x