happier today, though a certain shitty friend has still not replied my texts. please note i take this back if she has a good reason haha. still offends me though =[
today i went to see the ouse, it was good and excitingg, then went to ikea and spent lotsa money on cool stuff to make it look better.
moving in next saturday!!
my last weekend in tod, bit sad :( but new exciting things to come. just hope i can have one good weekend before i leavee
x
Friday, 21 August 2009
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Your burning bridges baby
uh i feel a bit shit. Maybe its PMT or maybe its just me. I'm just sad :(
thought that writing it might help.
Where do I even start? I'm just feeling so many emotions all a once.
Went for my jessops induction today start my job next week, so excited about that! Then I'm going back to manc which I'm excited about but then its making me sad too coz i'm gonna miss my parents terribly. Then i miss my friends, and some of them just make me feel like i may as well be dead. then i feel totally happy because iain is so amazing to me and were just always so happy together.
Since ive been home for summer ive text my friend lauren who imi dont think will read this, and i keep inviting to hang out, and she makes all these excuses all the fucking time. Or just doesnt even bother to reply. The last thing she said to me before i left for uni was that we were best friends and now she cant even spare me an hour of her time. Ive not even done anything to upset her, its always me getting in touch with her. To be fair it seems quite one sided with a few of my friends. what makes me such a bad friend? all i want is to be in their lives and have fun and be there for them, why is it so difficult to feel the same towards me? i must be some sort of horrible shitty friend. I hope that when I get back to manc i can spend more time with penny, and with lu & melissa. they seem to be the only caring friends atm. Apart from Sophie, but she wont be there, which im also dreading. I fee like we've got kinda closer this summer. I love her to bits.
I know im just having a bad day but i just dont wanna feel this way. everytime i get upset i always think i have no friends. Do i? im sure i do, but why do i feel this way? im such an insecure mess.
I cant wait to get back to manc, minus the sadness of leaving home. I feel like i may feel more important when im there, more loved. I can only hope so.
The good points outweigh the bad in my life yet the bad ones control my emotions more. perhaps i just like to complain and be miserable..
I shall try to be happy, i think venting did help.
Tomorrow i'm going to visit the new house and the off to ikea to buy some stuff i may need. Then next week my wonderful job starts! then i move out! yay=]
Night x
thought that writing it might help.
Where do I even start? I'm just feeling so many emotions all a once.
Went for my jessops induction today start my job next week, so excited about that! Then I'm going back to manc which I'm excited about but then its making me sad too coz i'm gonna miss my parents terribly. Then i miss my friends, and some of them just make me feel like i may as well be dead. then i feel totally happy because iain is so amazing to me and were just always so happy together.
Since ive been home for summer ive text my friend lauren who imi dont think will read this, and i keep inviting to hang out, and she makes all these excuses all the fucking time. Or just doesnt even bother to reply. The last thing she said to me before i left for uni was that we were best friends and now she cant even spare me an hour of her time. Ive not even done anything to upset her, its always me getting in touch with her. To be fair it seems quite one sided with a few of my friends. what makes me such a bad friend? all i want is to be in their lives and have fun and be there for them, why is it so difficult to feel the same towards me? i must be some sort of horrible shitty friend. I hope that when I get back to manc i can spend more time with penny, and with lu & melissa. they seem to be the only caring friends atm. Apart from Sophie, but she wont be there, which im also dreading. I fee like we've got kinda closer this summer. I love her to bits.
I know im just having a bad day but i just dont wanna feel this way. everytime i get upset i always think i have no friends. Do i? im sure i do, but why do i feel this way? im such an insecure mess.
I cant wait to get back to manc, minus the sadness of leaving home. I feel like i may feel more important when im there, more loved. I can only hope so.
The good points outweigh the bad in my life yet the bad ones control my emotions more. perhaps i just like to complain and be miserable..
I shall try to be happy, i think venting did help.
Tomorrow i'm going to visit the new house and the off to ikea to buy some stuff i may need. Then next week my wonderful job starts! then i move out! yay=]
Night x
Monday, 10 August 2009
Hello.
My first entry, not sure what I'm doing quite yet. Felt like starting a blog, I used to love writing blogs on myspace. Dunno if anyones gonna read this ever haha but I shall find it therapeutic :)
Anyway lets begin...
So, I feel in a kind of random place right now. I just hang around doing nothing everyday, summers are always weird for me. Long and lazy. Spend most days with iain or looking after my sister but even then theres not much to do, especially when the weathers so shit, I'm looking forward to getting back to Manc and back to uni.
I have a lot to look forward to in the future, its just dragging to get to it haha, starting my new job at Jessops! I'm excited but nervous about that, I'm not the most confident person when it comes to the public =/ but I love working and think it shall be fun. And I'm moving in with Iain and Lu and melissa, we're gonna have a lot of fun. I'm just a bit nervous...and excited. It's a big step and I don't doubt that I am making a mistake it's just normal to be a bit cautious I guess. I always worry about everything lol. I'm looking forward to more nights out :) manchester is so much better than home for that. Although as long as the company is good a night out id generally good anyway, Loving spending time with Sophie and Callam and everyone. I've got The Used to look forward to, september 21st, theyre my favourite band in the whole wide world lol. And then of course uni, i'm looking forward to getting on with what I love and hopefully getting better at it!!I'm also slightly looking forward to getting away from home again, annoyingly because lst year I was so homesick and all I wanted was to be home with my family, but now theyre are getting on my nerves a bit =S I'll end up missing them again though I just know it argh.Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about anything, I'm very content with my life. I just wish there was some balance between home and being in Manchester. I have friends in both places and wish I could see both lots more often. And me and iain are obviously going great =] and I love my family to bits.
It's all good. X
My first entry, not sure what I'm doing quite yet. Felt like starting a blog, I used to love writing blogs on myspace. Dunno if anyones gonna read this ever haha but I shall find it therapeutic :)
Anyway lets begin...
So, I feel in a kind of random place right now. I just hang around doing nothing everyday, summers are always weird for me. Long and lazy. Spend most days with iain or looking after my sister but even then theres not much to do, especially when the weathers so shit, I'm looking forward to getting back to Manc and back to uni.
I have a lot to look forward to in the future, its just dragging to get to it haha, starting my new job at Jessops! I'm excited but nervous about that, I'm not the most confident person when it comes to the public =/ but I love working and think it shall be fun. And I'm moving in with Iain and Lu and melissa, we're gonna have a lot of fun. I'm just a bit nervous...and excited. It's a big step and I don't doubt that I am making a mistake it's just normal to be a bit cautious I guess. I always worry about everything lol. I'm looking forward to more nights out :) manchester is so much better than home for that. Although as long as the company is good a night out id generally good anyway, Loving spending time with Sophie and Callam and everyone. I've got The Used to look forward to, september 21st, theyre my favourite band in the whole wide world lol. And then of course uni, i'm looking forward to getting on with what I love and hopefully getting better at it!!I'm also slightly looking forward to getting away from home again, annoyingly because lst year I was so homesick and all I wanted was to be home with my family, but now theyre are getting on my nerves a bit =S I'll end up missing them again though I just know it argh.Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about anything, I'm very content with my life. I just wish there was some balance between home and being in Manchester. I have friends in both places and wish I could see both lots more often. And me and iain are obviously going great =] and I love my family to bits.
It's all good. X
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